Letter 1.45

…December 18 - One year in robes. Since leaving Wayne State U, this is the first time I have ever succeeded in doing any one thing for a full year - kibbutz was 11 months - and I find, at the end of a year, that I need not congratulate myself at all, for I have not 'stuck it out' but rather continuously chosen it: it is our ability to choose which permits our existence; only by continuous exercise of that will can we be aware of our present existence, and thus come to an understanding of it. It was in each of the moments in which I chose to remain in robes that I learned. I learned, at last, that I could not imagine any other rational choice for myself…